I was looking around online for some fun games to play. Baccarat is a card game I like, so I looked up some sites that had Baccarat. Most sites offered a program you can download that you can then play on, either for real money or just for fun. Most sites also offered hundreds of dollars in "free" bonuses for new players signing up. This piqued my interest. "What's the catch?" I wondered. Casino sites on the net are about one thing only, and that's making money. There's no way they would just hand over 700 dollars to every person who signs up. I looked up the Terms and Conditions. And you wouldn't believe how hard these were to find in some of the sites... And for good reason. Have you ever read one of these? It's basically a contract that you have to agree to in order to be allowed to play the game, and holy shit are they full of bullshit. One contract stated that "in order to make the game experience as efficient as possible" the owners of the site reserve the right to collect my personal data and distribute it globally to all affiliates, subsidiaries, business associates and business relations without prior notification to the user. So basically, they can give my personal information to anyone they feel like on the planet. Huh? How does this make my gaming experience more efficient? This particular section of the contract could only be found through a link AFTER running an installer program that you had to download and that couldn't be shut down by regular means, unless you actually installed the program first. Oh, and is it any surprise that the installer contained a bunch of trojans?
Another site had a clause in the agreement about the "free" bonus they offered. What it said was that the several hundred dollars of bonus money was divided into several parts. The first part meant that they would match whatever money I deposited into their game. If I deposit 40 bucks, they give me 40 bucks, so that I have 80 dollars to play for. The second part was basically the same deal but with them putting less money into it, about 7 dollars for every 10. BUT the condition for the second part to be applicable was that I first make the first deposit, then wager and lose a minimum of 7 times the deposited amount. After that I get to make the second deposit, but I have to wager that 30 times before I can make any withdrawals. And only certain games count towards those 30 times. Baccarat, for example, does not.
So... let me get this straight. If I deposit 5 dollars, I can play for 10 dollars. Then I have to lose 70 dollars, plus the 5 dollars, plus anything I've won with those 10 dollars. Then I can deposit another 5 dollars, lose about 255 dollars, plus the 3,5 dollar bonus the second time, plus anything I've won. After this, I can make a withdrawal.
Does this make any sense to anyone other than the site owner? If I want to actually win any money at all, I must first basically deposit 10 dollars, then give this dude an absolute minimum of 333,5 dollars, and then when I've payed that total of 343,5 dollars, I can finally deposit some more money and keep whatever I win. Sure! That sounds like an awesome deal! Jesus fuckin' christ on the cross, it's a miracle these sites actually have any customers at all. Their only hope is literally that either nobody reads these agreements or that nobody understands them. Not a single sane person would ever pay money into these sites, unless they were 124,7 % confident that they could win all that money back and more on casino software, programmed by the people they're playing against, on games where the odds are all without exception in the dealer's favor...
Oh yeah. Gimme more of that stuff...
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