Fresh start

Ok, let's breathe some life into this blog again. Seems like the last couple of posts have all been attempts of revival for this place, but too much stuff has happened in the last six months, I just haven't had any time for writing.

So, I think I left off as a fairly newly appointed lead tester, with plenty of stuff to do at work. A lot has happened since then, it's almost comical in some way. These past six months have probably been the most stressful time of my life so far. Let's start from the top.

I had a girlfriend, with whom things weren't really going all that great. She had no financial brain at all, often resulting in me paying the bills and her spending money in accordance to a budget she thought she should have had. The Danish dude was still living in the house, and the three of us would share the bills, groceries, etc. keeping track of who payed what and then settling the bill at the end of each month. The Danish dude left and went back to Denmark in February, and my girlfriend insisted that we don't get someone to replace him, keeping the house only for the two of us. The house was pretty expensive, and for only two people it was a bit of a stretch. And since she never payed me back for any of the bills or groceries, it was even more of a stretch for me.

Things went downhill between us quite fast. It wasn't great to begin with, lots of fights, her spending money on stupid stuff, while I was working overtime and borrowing money to be able to pay bills and buy food. She was clinically depressed and was seeing a psychiatrist in Ste-Agathe. She attempted suicide once, I forced her to the hospital, but they sent her home again after she refused treatment, and her psychiatrist decided that she was no danger to herself. Over the next three or four months she would try to commit suicide several times more, almost using her suicide attempt as a weapon against me in fights, but I quite physically wrestled the pill can out of her hand, so she didn't succeed.

Her expenses were quite high, she claimed that her car was leaking gas again and that it was costing her a lot of money. I also noticed that money was disappearing from my bank account, so I went to the bank and asked them to investigate. They reimbursed me for the money that had disappeared mysteriously and said they would check things out. More money disappeared, even out of my wallet, and I started getting suspicious. One morning, the livingroom door was open when I got up, and money was missing again. My girlfriend insisted that someone must have snuck in while we were asleep, taken some of the money (not all of it) out of my wallet and left. Yeah. What kind of burglar sneaks in, leaves all the valuables and takes only part of the money in your wallet. Both doors were bolted from the inside, so how would someone get in? One evening she goes to get some snacks and is gone for an hour. By now I am pretty much sure, so I check my wallet and find that she has replaced my bank card with her own. I head down to the hotel bar and find her walking out of the front door. She tells me her car overheated and she had to stop and wait for it to cool down. Right. I took my card back from her and broke up with her there and then.

There were no expenses. She was doing drugs again, stealing money from me and using it to get crack. She was the one who had been stealing money out of my account and my wallet. She had stopped taking her medication and started doing drugs instead. I was borrowing money from family and friends and working all the time to be able to pay all the bills, while she was stealing money from me and smoking it up. I even took a cash advance from work, which didn't really help much. She admitted everything to me and got even more depressed. She attempted suicide again, this time taking well over a lethal dose of ibuprofen and locked herself up in the bedroom. When I notice, she refuses to open the door, so I kick it in, drag her out of bed and out into the car and get her to the hospital. She makes phone calls to her father, telling him I'm kidnapping her and beating her.

Ibuprofen is a really, really stupid kind of pill to try to commit suicide with. It doesn't kill you right away, it causes severe liver damage over a period of time, which eventually causes liver failure a month or two later, and your body literally poisons itself with toxins and you die a very slow and painful death over the course of about three or four days. Once your liver is damaged, there is no antidote.

She didn't die, the only thing that saved her was the fact that she was fat. 7 grams can cause irreparable liver damage in a normal person. She took over 10 grams, along with some other pills and cocaine. But she's fat, so the concentration in her system was lower, under the lethal dose. She refuses treatment again, and the psychiatrist again decides that she is no danger to herself and releases her. I will never understand this. After two trips to the hospital for attempted suicide, the psychiatrist decides that she is no danger to herself. What kind of fucking idiot of a psychiatrist...? The psychiatrist recommends that she get out of this relationship with me, because it is obviously a "psychologically and physically abusive relationship."

What the fuck...? Abusive relationship? She spent all that time, all those visits to the psychiatrist just avoiding any of the issues she had problems with, and made up lies about me instead?

Finally, she moved out to go stay at her father's place and I found a new apartment to move into. She left owing me close to 6000 $, I'm not expecting to get any of it back. If she has any money, she will smoke it or spend it on alcohol. She certainly won't go out of her way to pay me back.

I cannot explain how much resentment and hatred I have towards this woman. I spent more than a year and half with her, doing everything for her. She payed me back with lies, backstabbing and by stealing everything I had just to support her addiction. After more than two years in Canada, I have less than I had when I came here, and I'm not just talking about money.

A fresh start from zero, I guess.